the yogini cowgirl

i just figured out how I'm going to spend my next sleepless night ...

080211b. You know how I haven't really been sleeping?

Well I just discovered a new reason to be thankful that we live in Montana, where the light pollution isn't nearly the problem it is in Los Angeles.

You see, I won't have to drive an hour to a place where I can see real stars.

And I might get to enjoy this year's Perseid meteor shower in a new way.

In my backyard.

And the best news?  The best time to see it is when I've been struggling to find slumber ... especially in the next few days.

Maybe I'll use that time for my meditation.

Ahhhh ... I feel better already.

Check out this link about the shower ... so YOU can enjoy the Perseid meteors, too!

How to minimize moon and optimize 2011 Perseid meteor shower | Astronomy Essentials | EarthSky

In 2011, the legendary Perseid meteor shower – the northern hemisphere’s best summertime meteor shower – is expected to peak between midnight and dawn on Saturday, August 13. That night, however, the full moon will be shining brightly in the sky from dusk until dawn, obliterating all but the brightest Perseid meteors. Here’s how to minimize the moon and optimize the 2011 Perseid meteors.

via earthsky.org

why I'm ready to live on the land ...

072511.  I have lived in apartments and houses in urban settings for more than 20 years (which doesn’t include the 20 years I lived in a smallish New Jersey town … in a crowded house with family I love).

I’ve had roommates.  (I will always love you, K.  And I still crave Corn Pops at 3 am … it’s a problem.)

I’ve lived with boyfriends.  (We all make mistakes … but some are way bigger than others, yes?)

I’ve crashed on sofas. (SB … you saved my life … and Joe is still the best dog I’ve ever known.)

Had loud neighbors who party until all hours of the night. 

I’ve even been a loud neighbor with late-night parties.

I’ve complained about barking dogs next door.

And had my dogs complained about.

I’ve lived in about 28 different places in the past 20 years. 

Apartments. 

Houses. 

Duplexes.

Condos.

I’ve done my produce shopping at Whole Foods, local farmers’ markets and local Co-Ops.

I've spent more time in my car commuting than I'd like to remember.

And I’m done.

I’m done with loud neighbors.

I’m done with live-in boyfriends (except for the Cowboy, of course … who is the only boyfriend I ever want again).

I’m done with crashing on sofas (except for those nights I fall asleep watching the Food Network).

And moving every year (or twice a year ... depending on the year).

I'm done commuting.

And I’m ready for a little space.

I’m ready to settle in.

I’m ready to garden.

And compost.

And cook.

And take care of chickens.

I’m ready for cozy Christmases.

And family and friend-filled 4^th of Julys.

I’m even ready to homeschool the kiddos.

Basically, I’m ready for the life I’ve wanted forever.

And you’re all invited to visit!

(This is where you can stay.)

By the way, meeting with the builder went well on Saturday, but it's more than a little clear that for this new life to come to fruition, I’m going to need all the love and kind thoughts you can spare, because it doesn’t seem like it'll be an easy process to make it happen.  In fact, it's probably a long-shot ...

But when you're doing what you're supposed to, the Universe bends to help ...

 

another plea ...

072211.  Bigg-ish news on the homefront-thing ...

I just found out that the contractor (who's representing the seller) on the house we really want ...

You know ...

The perfect one that I showed you on Monday? ...

Yeah ...

That one ...

Anyway ...

That contractor is available to meet with me tomorrow morning to go over some of the details that we wanted to discuss (like who tears down the old farmhouse that's riddled with asbestos and not pictured above and how much does it cost kind of thing ... and who owns the water rights ... and who's leasing some of the land from the current owners and ... what are they doing with it and how ironclad is their lease and do we have to keep them on as tenants kind of thing).

So ...

Yeah ...

Tomorrow morning is exciting ...

And nerve-wracking ...

Because the Cowboy's still in Pittsburgh (argh, this is a long show he's working on!).

So it's on me to get to the bottom of some of this stuff ... and to take a ton more pictures (which I promise to share) ... so the Cowboy can see more of the beauty and spectacle and awesomeness (and sweat equity) that will go into this place ... so we can make it to the next step ... which I guess would be making an official offer?

Anyway ... that means I'm turning to you all AGAIN ... for another set of good thoughts ... because seriously ... I'm totally not kidding ... you want to visit us here.  And the only way to do that is for us to own it :)

ask ... if you don't ask ... you won't receive

071811.  Sometimes you just have to ask the Universe for what you want ... right?

You need to rally the forces of good ...

to think good thoughts ...

and send good wishes ...

and dream your dream with you ...

So today ...

I'm rallying the forces of good ... (Hello!  Thanks for reading!)

I'm seeking some of your best thoughts ...

I'm asking for some of your good wishes ...

And pleading that you dream with me today ...

Because we've been on a house hunt.

And last Thursday, we happened upon this:

... and it has this view from the master bedroom ...

 

And an even better one from the guest house ...

And I would like to invite you all for a visit to this place, if we can find a way to make it our home.

 

cravings ...

070111.  You see this picture?

It’s haunting me.

Yes.

I said it.

I can’t get it out of my mind.

The ice is perfectly melted.

The coffee is exactly the right color.

I can taste this coffee.

And I want this coffee.

Now … you should know … I didn’t take this picture.

I didn't make this coffee ... Yet.

It’s from the Pioneer Woman’s blog. 

I don’t have any of this coffee on hand in my house.

I believe this is the plain Perfect Iced Coffee ... but the Pioneer Woman has a mean streak and has included a recipe for Thai Iced Coffee ... and that's what I imagine when I see this photo.

And I know for sure there’s nowhere in Bozeman to actually purchase a coffee that tastes the way I imagine this one to taste.

So when I was at the store yesterday I went crazy and bought these:

Because by golly, I’m going to make the Thai Iced version of this coffee before the weekend is over or so help someone.  And I might like it so much I make a lot of this coffee (which only calls for 2 or 3 tablespoons of sweetened condensed milk).

Now I just need to get the coffee grounds.

Rockford Coffee Roaster, here I come! (Rockford roasts the best coffee I've ever had ... and I'm not kidding about this ... it's better than coffee I've had in New York, Los Angeles, London ... way better ... like even if you don't like coffee, there's a good chance you'd like this coffee.)

Other tasty treats on the menu for this holiday weekend, because I’ve decided that the way I’m going to celebrate Independence is indulging in all of the cravings I’ve been having:

Tres Leches cake – I made this version about 18 months ago and haven’t stopped thinking about it.  Maybe I’ll even add some blueberries and strawberries to the top to make this Mexican favorite a little more patriotic.

Homemade Ginger Ale from Homemade Ginger Syrup – because who doesn’t like to make their own spicy goodness, and this looks just a little too easy to pass up.

Marinated Portobello Mushroom “Burgers.”

And a vinegar-based coleslaw with a nice kick.

Then … for the carnivores at our party, there are sure to be burgers and dogs … maybe some carne asada because that’s a specialty of the Cowboy’s (and it’s some of the LO’s favorite food in the world).

What’s on YOUR menu for the weekend?

my camera was in the kitchen ... what's wrong with me?!?!

042911.  After making scones last night at 9 pm (no pic available ... not that the camera wasn't nearby ... it was sitting on the kitchen counter ... about 3 feet from the scones for more than a few hours), the LO and I retired to bed for a few short hours of rest before our Royal Wedding Party began.

My plan was to get up at 1:30, set the table, make some whipped cream (no clotted cream available at any of our local stores here in Bozeman, so we make due, don't you know).

But then I slept through my alarm, which is on my phone (I had the sound turned off so as not to wake the baby with any sort of ringing ... which apparently included the alarm ... which is sort of a bummer.)

So I was glad to have a wake-up call in the form of Hitcher, who started barking when the first car pulled into our driveway.  I had time to pop up and out of bed, so I don't think Sammy could tell I had been sleeping until she arrived.

Sammy walked in at 2:10 am (again, no pic available, but Sammy was wearing fuzzy pink PJs and cozy slippers as she trudged through the snow to get to the Cottage).

I was in the kitchen whipping cream when Kelly arrived about 5 minutes later (no pic), bright and bushy-tailed despite having a stressful and long week.  She is an amazing woman who I will write about one day ... gorgeous, strong, intense and empowered.

The tea was brewed (Earl Grey, thank you very much).  The scones were warm and tasty (yay for Sticky Fingers original scones mix ... I just didn't have it in me to make them from scratch last night).  And the McVittie's Digies were open and on display ... hmmmm.

And until the moment the wedding began, the LO slept silently and peacefully.

But then the procession began ... and she just couldn't contain herself any longer.  

"MAMA ... MAAAA MMAAA ... MA!"

I couldn't ignore it ... (and not just because two women sat in our living room looking at me like if I didn't get up I would be a not-so-great-mother) ... apparently she needed to see the Grace-Kelly-inspired-Alexander-McQueen-dress, too!

Again, no pics ... Arghhhhh ... what's my problem?!!

Oh .... and it's snowing again ... in case you were wondering ... we're not having Spring this year.  I'm guessing we might just wake up in July and it'll be Summer.

Q: What did YOU do last night?

It's Shakespeare's birthday ... and I'm worried

042311.  It’s also my cousin Kathleen’s birthday.  (Happy Birthday, Kay!  Happy Birthday, Will!)

These two facts are major indicators for me that we’re in the middle of Spring.

At least, we’re one third of the way toward Summer.

And I'm having fantasies about beach days.

Short sleeved shirts.

And sun hats.

But it’s 22 degrees?

… and there’s snow on the ground?

I’m concerned about our tulips.

On the upside, there’s a dinosaur egg hunt and “eggstravaganza” at the Museum of the Rockies today.

So out come the snowboots … again …

 

Q: What’s on your docket for the day?

 

I used to wear cute shoes ...

041211.  In fact, you might recall that I was on the verge of developing a bit of a shoe fetish.  Okay, well … I wanted a shoe fetish.  I mean … I wore cute sneakers.  And the occasional cute slip-ons.  And heels.

And then I gave up my high-powered job as a movie producer.

Committed to my yoga practice.

Moved to Montana.

And ran right smack into Winter in the Rocky Mountains.

Yesterday was warmer than it’s been since last October (a balmy 55 degrees.)

And sunny.

And gorgeous.

And I realized something.

Not only do I no longer have a shoe fetish, but I’ve been wearing the same four pair of shoes for seven months, and I hardly even noticed it!

Not that Dansko clogs aren’t charming (they seem to be part of the mom uniform here in Bozeman).

Or that I don’t love my rain boots.

It’s not that I don’t appreciate the warmth of my North Face snow boots … or the coziness of my well-worn Uggs.

It’s just been a while since I’ve been able to slip on a pair of cute flats or pumps or sneakers or peep-toe heels …

I’m not even sure I could find them in our storage unit.

Can you say Macy’s?

 

Q: What shoes are making it out of YOUR closet these days?

 

Cowgirls and Indians ...

040611.  There was a Pow Wow this weekend at Montana State University.  A big one.  One of the biggest one in the State, I think.  Drumming, dance competitions (fancy, jingle, tiny tots), basketball tournaments, two full-sized teepees and jewelry and fry-bread and chilli and lots and lots of beautiful costumes.

And since the LO and I are on this journey to explore our inner cowgirls, we decided to find ourselves there.

I thought we might go for half an hour … wander around the booths … listen to some drumming … eat some fry-bread.

I didn’t expect a near-2 year-old to be quite so taken with the whole experience.

I also didn’t realize is that even though I brought my camera, I would be too busy keeping up with the LO to take as many pictures as I wanted … because true to form, she wanted to be everywhere (including on the stage with the dancers)

But I did capture a few moments.

  

 

So … 2 ½ hours later, I dragged an overtired-overstimulated-overfrybreaded LO screaming from what was apparently the best day of her life …

Q: Have you had any good days lately?

 

back to basics

031111.  Today's one of those days that sent me right back to basics.

Which has something to do with last night being one of those nights during which the LO decided that sleeping was for everyone else in the world ... but not us.

And that means today I needed to get back to basics ... because anything more than basics was going to be too much for my tired brain.

So I did a few sun salutations, meditated for about 11 minutes and then cleaned the kitchen from top to bottom (the counters, the floors, the refrigerator and the oven).

I vacuumed the living room (something I must do every other day because we have two hairy dogs that each shed a dog each day).

I folded laundry.

I knitted (still working on a hat that I started about a month ago ... and am finally feeling confident that I'll finish it before the cold dissipates so I'll at least get to wear it once or twice before Spring really takes hold here in the Big Sky state).

And I went to the grocery store, where I found this ...

And I got excited.

Because I remembered that one of the "basic" reasons I wanted to move to Montana was to have my own garden!

And then I got to the checkout counter where the cashier looked at my book.

Then she looked at me.

And then back at the book.

Then she said (with a sarcasm I haven't heard since I left the East Coast) that she was going to write a book about Gardening in Montana.  And it would be a short book.  It would be called "Gardening in Montana.  Don't."

I think I looked scared.

She asked where I was from.

"Uh ... California?"

"Yeah ... okay ... well ... carrots.  You can plant carrots.  But if you don't have a high fence, the elk'll get 'em."

"Okay."

"And don't plant anything until June."

"June?"

"Yes.  June.  At the earliest.  And no tomatoes.  No peppers.  Don't bother."

"Okay.  Thank you."

"Sure.  That'll be $68.45 ... Just press 'enter.'"

And I was dismissed.

So ... um ... yeah.

Q:  I'm looking to live vicariously through someone else this weekend, do you have fun plans?

a little about love

022111.  It’s Monday.

And we’re getting ready for a wedding.

The Cowboy’s gorgeous and good-hearted sis is tying the knot today.  To a Jersey boy ... who went to high school in the town next door to where I grew up.  When he was in high school, JB (Jersey Boy) and his best friend used to be a doormen at the Nook (a bizzaro-world night-club for teenagers). Anyway ... that's a non-sequitur in this story ... maybe a story for another time.  But I will say he's lucky he used to let me and my girlfriends past the velvet rope otherwise I'd have to take issue. :)

(photo courtesy of orangephotographie.com ... the same team who'll be shooting today's festivities!)

 So, the nuptials are set at a gorgeous inn in Big Sky, Montana.

In an area that has almost NO cell reception, so I haven’t been able to upload any of my pictures to my computer.

I guess I have to post pics another time.

Although right now, I’m not doing much to get ready. 

The Cowboy is skiing. 

The LO is napping. 

And after more than a few phone calls to the front desk, I was finally able to figure out a way to get online.

And the truth is … all I wanted to do was share this one Yogi Bhajan quote about love … because going to weddings makes me think about love (shocker, I know):

Anyway … here goes … a quote from YB on love and what love can do to transform your life:

If anything can change your destiny, your dignity, your grace, your capacity—that is love; and love lives in consciousness. - YB

And he’s not just talking about romantic love.  In fact, he probably wasn’t talking about romantic love at all.  But love is love is love … and it can change your destiny (can you say producer-turned-yogini-cowgirl?).

Q:  Are you open to love?  Will you let it transform your life?

PS - I'm figuring out a GIVEAWAY for next week ... what's more interesting: yoga music, a new mat, or jewelry?  Post a comment and let me know.

 

 

it's GROUNDHOG DAY!

020211.  And regardless of Punxsutawny Phil’s prediction of an early spring, there’s going to be at least six more weeks of winter in the Big Sky State … because that’s the way it is in Montana (even with global warming). 

And that’s not hard to comprehend as I wake to another (-12) degree morning.

So the LO and I are making plans …

The kind of plans that include an airplane …

A layover …

Another airplane …

And some quality time with the SuperMom (heretofore known as “SuperGrami") and the Cowboy in the SoCal.

Until then, we’re just going to hang by the fire, drink some hot cocoa and do our best to keep warm. 

Q:  What’s on your agenda today?

 

snowbound lotus

111910.  It started snowing yesterday at 4:43.  Roughly. (NOTE: I’m basing the estimated time on a text message I sent to the Cowboy which said “SNOWING!!”)

It’s 8:18 am on Friday, 24 degrees, and … still snowing.

Perfect - catch on your tongue - big - flakey - fluffy - soft - dry - GORgeous - snow

this photo from our front door doesn’t do it justice … not only can you not see that it's STILL snowing, but you can't see the luminescent white sky, the ground is white, the trees, the fences, even the cars that pass by the Cottage are frosted white (like cupcakes!)

Which makes me wonder what we'll do today (I mean ... besides teach a yoga class at noon at the Bozeman Yoga Center ... our play-date was cancelled due to weather, so we're free for the day). 

Maybe when the LO finally wakes her tired little self up she'll don her snowsuit and we can take her on her first sled ...

Or maybe we'll build her first snowman ...

Or maybe we’ll just snuggle in and make some brownies.

And some soup.

And grilled cheese.

Hmmm …

 

Q: What’s for lunch?

the last nice day ...

110710.  Weather reports ... and anyone who has lived in Montana for longer than I have ... have all told me that today was the last nice day of 2010.  And by "nice" they mean "temperate" ... as in ... above 60 degrees.  Tomorrow is supposed to bring a real cold snap (29 degrees) and the first real snowfall (a huge relief for all the ski resorts in the area).

So today ... instead of cleaning house, or doing laundry, or unpacking more boxes ... the Cowboy took the LO and I to "the place where God lives, but Ted Turner owns." (That's a quote from the Cowboy.)  Spanish Creek.  A national forest 7.5 miles deep into Ted T's Flying D Ranch. (Apparently, Ted Turner is the single-largest land-owner in the whole of these United States ... crazy.)

And he was right ... this place is amazing.

 

We hiked.

We rested.

The dogs played.

And the LO smiled.  A lot.

What an amazing gift to spend "the last nice day" embracing and enjoying the experience of this place where we live.

Q: How would you spend your "last nice day?"

I love road trips ...

093010.  Just a few days after high school graduation, Ericka, Scott and I hopped into Ericka’s Chevette (white with blue interior and no A/C) during a record-heat drought that struck the mid-Atlantic with a fury we haven’t seen since.  So three freshly-minted “adults” decided it was the perfect time to drive 10 hours to visit Brian, whose family had just moved to Dublin, Ohio.  We told our parents we were going to the Jersey shore with other grads (or rather … I told my parents we were going to the beach … Ericka told her parents the truth … and I don’t know if Scott told his parents anything) … that’s how grown-up we were.  (SuperMom – I don’t think you’re learning this now … I hope you’re not learning about it here … hmmm … haven’t we talked about it?!?) 

It was more than 20 years ago and I still remember the asphalt smell in the car from the road construction … and how precariously close the road dividers seemed to a new driver … and how hot it was in the car … sticking to the plastic blue seats … falling asleep in the backseat when it was someone else’s turn to drive because of the heat and heavy air … crazy summer traffic … bad fast food.  It was probably the best weekend of my life up to that point. 

And I still love road trips.

I’m a road tripper.

I love the changing landscapes.

I love the hotel rooms that range from the Bunkhouse in Augusta, where there are no locks on the doors ...

... to the poshness of the rooms at Hidden Moose Lodge in Whitefish, where each room has a balcony and a foyer.

I love the people we meet ...

the places we eat ...

and the sites we see ...

And I’m happy to report, the Cowboy is a road-tripper, too.

(and he prefers to drive, so I get to sit in the passenger seat and snap photos with my phone.)

And what we’ve discovered these past two road-tripping weekends is … the LO loves it, too!

(except we think she wants to do the driving.)

Whew.

Not sure what we would have done if we had a LO that didn’t like to travel.

 

Q:  When was the last time you took a road trip … and where did you go?

REMINDER:  Only one more day to register for the CD GIVEAWAY ... just CLICK THIS LINK and comment on the question. Three lucky winners will get Snatam's new CD DIVINE BIRTH.  Good Luck! 

Calamity Jane slept here ... I wonder if she knew Breath of Fire?

091810. So, the Cowboy is taking me on a series of road trips to explore my new home in the Big Sky state. 

And it all started Thursday night.

First stop.  Pray, MT (population 85, home of the Resort at Chico Hot Springs)

 Where we stayed in the upper house – the Fisherman’s Lodge – overlooking the garden, the greenhouse and the main lodge.  Amazing.

Not only is there an incredible pool that is supplied by local hot springs, the resort is home to a beautiful garden and greenhouse, filled with gorgeous sunflowers and flowering vines, herbs and aromatics all sequestered behind a 6 foot fence.

Discovering the stairs behind our room was likely my favorite part of the visit to Chico.  Because they lead the LO and me to the flower zoo, and offered us a quiet, meditative space, filled with luscious colors, earthy smells and rich textures.  The life-affirming experience of walking through the maze of flowers and vegetation with the LO is a moment that I’m going to cherish for a long time.  And pretty cool to know the kitchen would soon be turning this bountiful cornucopia of fruit and vegies into a nourishing, delicious meal.

We left Chico on Friday … and went on a drive through Yellowstone …

along the Beartooth Highway (seriously the most beautiful scenic road I've ever been on) …

and then into Red Lodge, MT, (the Pollard Hotel) where Calamity Jane parked her horse and hung with Jeremiah “Liver-eating” Johnson, Buffalo Bill and all those other Cowboys and gals of yore.

The thing I’m realizing on this little sojourn (which I’m sure you already know) is that taking a little time off to reconnect with loved ones … to be a family … to remember why you came together in the first place … is really important.  It’s so easy for paths to diverge … for one to be looking North, the other West.  But laughing together.  Eating together, talking listening, and experiencing the quiet moments when the LO is asleep in the back seat … that’s what brings the paths back together … gets things sorted … prepares you for the road ahead.

 

Q: What time have you taken to reconnect with your loved-ones lately?

 

Mondays can be good days ... if you take advantage of the time you have off

091310.  After a cowgirl-crazy weekend (we drove two hours to Dillon to meet the Cowboy at a round-up/clinic for an old fashioned BBQ-pot-luck), we’re ready to start Monday renewed, refreshed, and ready to yoga.

But first … a few notes on the weekend:

• The LO schooled me in cowgirl fashion.  SHE picked out her shoes.  I swear.  She wouldn’t leave the house without them.
• I wish I had taken pics of the food – Cowboy caviar (aka corn salsa … soooo good), BBQ beans, pasta salads, and a grill filled with meat (and fire … there was a lot of fire) … and a coconut cream pie … YUM!!!

• I used my first outhouse.  Ever.  And yes, that says HFRS. As in heifers.  As in lady cows (not great for the ego … but pretty darn funny, if you ask me).  (NOTE, if you haven’t used an outhouse before … the toilet paper is under the can, which is held in place by the rock … that was the only thing that confused me.)

• We saw some of God’s prettiest country … and loved every minute.

But like I said, we are home again and renewed and ready for the week …

More Sadhana (Tuesday morning at 6 am we’re going to “Awaken the 10 Bodies”) … 6 AM - BE THE CHANGE YOGA STUDIO IN BOZEMAN  ... hope to see you there!!!

More Mommy & Me (we have a “Meditation for a Calm Heart” - because every mom I know needs to find calm in her heart).

And more personal practice … I’ve been using the Shabd Kriya before sleep and I think it’s helping me and the LO (who is happily sleeping about eight hours before waking in fits and starts … if I keep doing it, maybe she’ll sleep the whole night through … fingers crossed!)

 

Q:  Are you ready for the week ahead?

 

today's the day ...

090410.  I was looking at my calendar this morning and did a little calculating (in only a slightly obsessive-compulsive way) … in the 188 days that have passed since March (when he left to work on a movie in Utah), we’ve spent 38 with the Cowboy.  Four of which were in our new home in Montana.

So to suggest that the LO and I are a little excited that he’s coming home today is kind of an understatement.

 

Okay, well, I’m excited.  

 

Q: What can you be thankful for today?

when the cowgirl and yogini collide ...

082610.  I had my 2^nd riding lesson today.

I am really good at riding lessons.

Just ask Slick.

(Can't you see how much he likes me?)

I can brush a horse with the best of ‘em.

I can clean out their hooves (don’t use your fingers … that stuff in there is NOT dirt).

And if I hadn’t taken that Vinyasa class yesterday I totally would have hoisted that 40 lb saddle onto Slick’s back perfectly, but my shoulders were rendered useless by at least three too many asanas.

And if only I hadn’t done those Hanuma poses (splits … ow! … I had to use TWO blocks) … I would definitely have been able to get on the horse on my first try.  I know it!

But I have to admit something embarrassing.

And I’m reluctant.

Because it really shows off my dorkiness.

But it also shows my commitment … to be the best cowgirl I can, while remaining true to the yogini of my soul.

So … here goes:

You see, one of my teachers said it’s a good thing to play mantras during the day (and at night, and while you sleep, et al), because “if you’re groovin’ to the Cosmos, the Cosmos will groove with you.”  That’s a real quote from him.  He also said it doesn’t have to be loud.  Because even played really soft, you still get the benefit of the vibration.

So I’ve been playing mantra.  On my iPhone.  At the lowest level possible.  Most times, I can’t even hear it unless I put the phone to my ear.

And, I’ll be darned, since I started doing this (about 6 months ago), the Universe seems to be a pretty generous place.  And while I can’t say it’s entirely because of the mantra, I can’t say it’s not.

But the thing is … I’m not 100 percent comfortable with my choice to do this.  I worry that it makes me seem like a "zealot," or something.  Before I hit play, I can hear all the questions from my ego:  “Does it make me seem crazy?”  “What if someone hears it?”  “Do I have to explain it?”  “Will they take me less seriously when they hear the ‘excuse?’”

So today …

At my riding lesson ...

You’ve probably guessed what happened …

I was outside … and I hadn’t lowered the volume before getting out of my car … it was a little louder than I realized.

But I don’t usually stand too close to the Ultimate Cowchick because … well … we’re riding horses.

She was helping me cinch the saddle on Slick.  And it was pretty quiet in the arena ... except for the buzzing tinny little sounds of "Sa Re Sa Sa."

The UC turned to me and said, “I don’t know about you, but I’m hearing music … do you hear music?”

And I just started to stammer and grab for my back pocket and my iPhone, clumsily turning the volume down and muttering under my breath words like “mantra,” “universe,” “yoga,” “calm,” etc.

“Uh huh.”

Awkward silence.

Slick made a condescending chortle.

Another awkward silence.

“So when you go to get on the horse …”

Sigh.

I might not be her favorite student anymore.

 

Q: What happens when two sides of who you are collide?

 

 

the cowgirl is alive and well this week

082110. As we continue our adventure into cowgirl-hood, the LO and I loaded into the car and drove to the city town of Three Forks, Montana, today for the Wild Bunch’s Montana Cowboy Mounted Shooting Competition Finals.

 

Our friend Suzie is president of the Wild Bunch.

She’s like the UC … a cowgirl extraordinaire.

 

And she’s a “Cowboy Mounted Shooter.”

Now … if you know me at all … you will know I am an utter peacenik.

I’m not a big fan of guns.  It's an "issue" I have internally with the whole cowgirl-thing.

 

But I’m not going to get on a soapbox about it.

Because that’s not the point of this current adventure.

And I live in Cowboy Country.

And it’s my thing about guns.  Not anyone else’s.

So …

The Mounted Shooting Competition.

In the picturesque town of Three Forks.

30 miles West of Bozeman.

We found the rodeo grounds (there are rodeo grounds in Three Forks) after getting lost and having the call the Cowboy just once …

And then we found parking way too easily.

Which is when things got confusing …

Because the entrance wasn’t manned.

And the stands were empty except for two pre-teen girls who looked like they were waiting for their dad …

And there was one woman packing up a booth of antique cowboy paraphernalia at the edge of the empty arena.

?!?! …

We missed it?!?!?!

Pat (the antiques purveyor) told us they had wrapped up for the day TWO HOURS before …

“But I thought the website said it went until 5???”

Pat shrugged.  Apparently, they wrap up when they've gotten through all the entrants ... and they have fewer entrants this year "because of the economy."

“They start again at 10 am tomorrow.  And there’s an exhibition at 6 pm on Saturday.”

So this Cowgirl had to access her Yogini and breathe.

It would have been easy to get frustrated.

I can imagine at some point in my life I could even have gotten mad (and blamed my assistant or yelled at the antiques gal).

But we had an empty rodeo arena to ourselves.

 

There were horses to look at.

 

Dogs to laugh at.  And muddy water in buckets to explore.

There were even rocks to uncover.

 

And then we ran into Suzie and got a behind-the-scenes tour of the proceedings, and credit for showing up, anyway.

Woohoo!

Q: How do you react when things don't go quite the way you expect them?

happy new moon! (no, I'm not referring to the tween book/movie sensation!)

080910. I don’t know about you, but today was a typical day one of a Detox.  I was: Frustrated.  Anxious.  Irritable.  HUNGRY.  And totally unsatisfied.  Plus, it was a rainy day … and bleeding into a rainy night.

Which (as I mentioned yesterday) is a NEW MOON.

And generally speaking, I love the energy of New Moon days.

Maybe because the New Moon offers us a fantastic opportunity to manifest goodness on the path to our destiny!  Or maybe just “because.”

But today was Day One … of my detox.  And of being back in Montana after 3 ½ weeks.

(the horses seemed glad to see us - Red nearly knocked the camera out of my hands trying to give us a little love!  And, no, I wasn't bearing treats ;) 

So rather than spend the day manifesting goodness or contemplating my destiny, I spent it in my car running errands (post office, bank, grocery store, horses, dogs, etc.) and obsessing over the food I couldn’t eat, because this yogini has a weakness for ice cream.  

(If you like coconut anything ... I whole-heartedly recommend this incredibly decadent container of sinfulness ... incredible.  And I did NOT get any at the store today because there's no way I could resist!) 

The thing is, I should never have gone down the frozen food aisle at the Co-op … not my brightest hour … and it just got worse.  I don’t even like fig newtons that much, but I was nearly shaking with envy when the LO enjoyed one for dessert tonight!

So now I’m ready for Day 2.

Which (if the past is any indicator) is not much different than Day 1. I'm sure to feel all those same things (hoping by day 3 or 4 things look brighter).

But thankfully, Eve (the doctor who came up with this cleanse) is a proponent of mixing it up a little with the food.  So here’s what’s on deck for tomorrow:

WAKE UP (same as yesterday): 8 oz of water (room temp) with juice of ½ a lemon

Then move your body … (just like yesterday, I'll be doing my morning yoga and meditation here.)

BREAKFAST: Plain oatmeal with a handful of dates, ½ teaspoon of raw butter and ½ a mango.

MID-MORNING:  8 oz cup of fresh juice (½ juice; ½ water) – I found some beautiful peaches at the store today … maybe I’ll juice them with a carrot or two if I can find the juicer.  If not, I might just have the other half a mango.

LUNCH:  A big vegetable salad.  Here’s what I found on my shopping spree today that I think will taste great tomorrow:  Arugula, green beans (I’ll poach them), grape tomatoes, corn on the cob.  Same dressing as yesterday (I made this in quantity so I have it for the week because lunch every day is a big salad.)

MID-AFTERNOON:  an apple (or some other piece of fruit)

Move your body again ... it doesn't have to be for a long time ... just move it!

DINNER: Mung beans and rice (sounds boring, tastes DELICIOUS - recipe is toward the bottom of the page).

DESSERT (wait at least an hour … and if you’re not hungry, don’t have dessert!): Yogurt and berries with a tsp. of honey and mint tea.

Q: Do you have any advice for me on how o keep smiling through this cleanse?  I'm already faking it ... :)

Counting down ...

080210. One day until SC returns and our house-sitting ends – back to the Silver Lake sublet. 

I have mixed feelings about this … I miss SC, but her home is awesome and cozy and bright … and we love her puppy… it’s been a great week.

I think, if it were up to the LO, we’d be bringing Sadie home so we could even out the girl-boy ratio in our house. 

Six days until the LO and I head back to Bozeman.  More mixed feelings: We’re very sad to leave the Cowboy in Los Angeles … but it’ll be good to get home and get back to swimming lessons, horses, dogs and yoga with Sammy. I can’t believe how fast these weeks have gone by.

8 days until I go on the "sub" list as a yoga teacher!!!  Before I left for Los Angeles, I met the owner of Be the Change Yoga in Bozeman ... and happy day ... she is AWESOME and excited to be able to offer Kundalini Yoga to the community.  I start teaching for real in September.  But I go on the injured reserve list as of August 9th.  If you're ever in Bozeman, join me for Sadhana!!

10 days until I start riding lessons. I’m more nervous about this than excited at this point … I’d like to go on a trail ride with the Cowboy and the LO this fall, but I’ve been told it “depends on how I do?!?!”  Grrrr

(this was the only picture of me and a horse that I could find ... the LO was not quite 3 months old here ... my hair was a lot longer ... and I was still carrying some "baby weight" ... I'm really appreciating the jowls ... on the horse AND me :)

22 days until the next full moon. It’s the Green Corn Moon … which makes me think of Green Corn-Sweet Corn tamales … which makes me happy.  I might have to try my hand at making tamales in honor of the Green Corn Moon.  I’ll let you know how it goes.

33 days until the Cowboy gets home! Can you say "Bliss?"  Pure bliss.

82 days until we’re back in SoCal for the Claire & Danny wedding!  And the LO spends her first weekend away with my SuperMom!  Woohoo!!  Yikes!!

135 days until Christmas!

Q: What are you counting down these days?

the perfect shade of green ... (and no, I don't mean envy)

072210.  A long time ago (a few weeks, at least), in a magical land far far away called Montana, the universe was apparently dealing with some “issues” and needed to let off a little steam (in the form of a freak summer hail storm).

And the Cowboy’s cottage was caught in the melee.

It sort of looks like someone was using the side of the house for target practice, doesn’t it?

In its wake, the storm left blown out windows.  Glass everywhere (inside the house and out).  Roof slices on the ground.  And 2 ½” ice pellets strewn across the ground.

 

It was a little nutty.

And thankfully, the LO and the dogs and the yogini were not in the house when it happened.  

We were in the car driving home from the Post Office. 

Safe and sound (minus the shattered windshield and dented hood).  Actually, I think the only one who even noticed the storm was me … the LO was fast asleep and the dogs were fighting among themselves … (is it wrong that I don’t miss carting the dogs around each day while we’re here in LA?)

So now that a little time has gone by … and the insurance adjusters have done their adjusting … and the contractors have done their contractual assessing … now comes the fun part: picking a new color for the house.

I realize it’s not my house.

But I do get to live there.

And I’ve been asked for my opinion.

And even if I hadn’t been asked, I probably would have had an opinion.

But I’m happy to have the freedom to express it.

Because keeping opinions in can be challenging, you know?

And I would like to live in a green house.  I don’t know about you, but when I see a green house, I just want to go in it.  They’re just so inviting and warm and welcoming.  Now, not every color green draws me in.  Lime green doesn’t do it for me.  And forest green can have too much blue in it for my personal taste. 

But pea green? 

 

Grey green?

A rich swampy green? 

 

Mmmmm … I like it.

So I’m on a quest to find the perfect shade of green.

And it started today on my walk with the LO (which is when I took the above photos). 

We’d like to present the Cowboy with the perfect green before we head back to the Big Sky state.

So please feel free to send me green pics.  Because I’m hoping different shades of green are popular in different parts of this beautiful country of ours … and I’d love to see what green looks like where YOU are!

Q: Are you having fun, yet?

the authentic yogini cowgirl ...

070610.  “The authentic self is the soul made visible.” – Sarah Ban Breathnach

This sentence has become important to me of late.  And it’s not because I don’t live “authentically.”  Because I believe I do... most of the time. 

But I think I sometimes make the choice not to live from my soul.

Not intentionally.

But there are times when my ego gets in the way.  Or my insecurities bubble up to the surface.  Or my lack of experience or knowledge rears its ugly head.  And that’s when things get wonky.

That’s when I don’t feel quite so right.  

When little things become big things and my chest gets tight. 

My breathing gets stuck. 

I can taste the tangy bitter taste of bile in the back corners of my mouth.

And so I look for ways to recapture that authenticity… to re-find the soul inside myself.

Some people find themselves while being pampered (massage facial, pedicure, anyone?)  Some find themselves at the mall. (Point to a person who hasn’t found bliss and authenticity in a perfect pair of jeans …)  Some find themselves in the sunset on a beach. Or scaling a mountain.

The Cowboy tells me he finds himself by just coming home to Montana.  

But I would go so far as to say he seems even more authentic on horseback, if you ask me.

The LO seems to just be her authentic self at every turn.

Which I guess means we haven’t loaded her with enough baggage to have lost that beautiful angelic purity as yet.  (Woohoo!!)

And for me?  I’m still figuring it out.  So for now, I just follow Harijiwan’s advice:  “just add yoga” ...hence the moniker :)

Q: How do you find your authentic self when all the trappings of life get in the way?

when the past is the present ..

070310.  The Five Sutras of the Aquarian Age

1. Understand through compassion, otherwise, you will misunderstand the times.

2. Recognize the other person is you.

3. When the time is on you, start and the pressure will be off.

4. There is a way through every block.

5. Vibrate the cosmos and the cosmos shall clear the path.

Sutra literally means a thread or line that holds things together, and more metaphorically refers to an aphorism (or line, rule, formula), or a collection of such aphorisms in the form of a manual.

I bring this up because we're entering the Age of Aquarius.

“We are entering the Age of Aquarius on November 11, 2011. It will be a new time. The entire psyche is changing. You must purify the mind, body and soul to be real, innocent, and sattvic (pure). Elevate yourself to be angelic. This age which you will serve is an age of awareness and experience.” ~Yogi Bhajan

As we get closer and closer to that time, the collective consciousness of our planet is facing intense changes.  Global financial crisis.  Drastic environmental events.  And profound personal shifts.  "Dogs and Cats, living together..." (what movie?)

In my own little world, moving to a new town and starting a new life is a pretty dramatic shift for me.

But it’s not new to the Cowboy.

 

He has lived here for more than 25 years. 

His family is here.

His friends.

His neighbors and cohorts. 

Ex-wives. 

Ex-girlfriends. 

Old pals and old nemeses. 

His past. 

His past is my present in Bozeman. (Having just re-read this sentence ...do you think it means that his past is a gift???  I'm going to have to really think about this.)

And I needed some guidelines for dealing with his past.

Because my past I know.

My present is now.

My past isn't in Bozeman.

And it’s been a while since I've been confronted with someone else’s past.

So I went back to one of my yoga teachers for guidance.  And he reminded me of the Sutras.

And today is better than yesterday because of it.

 

Wahe Guru!

Thanks, Gurshabd!

dinner party download ...

062710.  Firstly, (because I’m sure you are all curious) the meal was delicious.  But there was nothing Pakistani about it … except the chef.  Sort of.  He is really an American-born-Berkeley grad whose parents were from Pakistan.  His “day-job” is waiting tables at a restaurant downtown Bozeman.  He just happens to be an incredible cook, and he does these dinners once a month just for the fun of feeding people excellent food (and for a little extra money).

 

There was a last-minute substitution for the second course, so there was no salmon sashimi tartar.  Instead, he delighted our palates with a “potato ravioli” stuffed with Portobello mushroom and homemade ricotta.  Basically, it was paper-thin sliced potatoes filled with a gorgeous concoction of mushroom and ricotta and then fried.  Like stuffed potato chips topped with a salsa of pears sautéed in garlic rosemary butter.  Oh my.  AMAZING.

And the mango tart was way better than it sounds.  Way better.

And I’m sorry I didn’t take pictures, but I was just meeting these ladies for the first time and I didn’t want them to think I was all in their business! (By the way, the photo here is a random one I found online at the Napa Valley St. Supery Winery website …it’s almost as pretty as the table our hostess set up on her back patio.)

But more important than the food (did I really say that???? Who am I?).  No really.  More important than the food … the gals at the dinner were a great mix of fabulousness.  Lawyers, Pilates instructors, marketing gurus, stay-at-home-moms-who-are-just-re-entering-the-workforce-after-9 ½-years, and the list goes on.  Each was interesting and charming and funny and awesome (I use that word too much) in her own way.  And I might go so far as to say that there are two or three of them that I’d like to find in my daily life.  I even traded numbers with a few.  Woohoo!!!

Q: How long should I wait to call?  Is it like a Swingers situation where I have to wait three days?

Trolling for friends...

062610.  I have had the good fortune in my life to have some of the best friends one could ask for.  Smart, beautiful, independent, awesome women from so many walks of life.  I met them in high school, college, post-college in Washington, Los Angeles, Atlanta and Albuquerque.  I’ve met them in school on boating trips, at concerts, learning to surf, at dinners, in birthing classes, in yoga classes and at work. 

So I know it’s possible to meet like-minded gals along the path. 

Although I’m realizing that one of the harder things about moving to a new town, is starting from scratch.

In college there was the dorm and the classroom.

Post college there was the job, the job-related outing.

But in a new town.

For a newly-minted-stay-at-home-mom.

It’s a little more complicated.

Because I’m not meeting people at work (since work is at home).

I haven’t been able to find childcare yet, so I’m not taking any classes (all of my yoga has been at home or at Sammy's).

And despite my stalking the public library for like-minded moms, I’ve yet to find a clique that clicks.

It probably doesn’t help that I spend most afternoons out with the horses … just me and the LO._­

Now, it’s not like I don’t know anyone.  

Since the Cowboy went back to Los Angeles, his friends and family have been awesome and incredibly generous with their time and energy.  They really have.  I’ve been to more than a few meals with the Cowboy’s mom.  

And his best friend (a gal who owns a shop downtown) has been more inviting than one could hope. Thankfully, she doesn't seem to mind that I stop at her shop most days! 

And I get to do yoga with the cowboy’s niece, who was once my roommate, and she’s incredible.

So tonight I’m doing something courageous (at least in my book it’s courageous).  I’ve been invited to a gal’s dinner by a woman who went to high school with a friend from Los Angeles (bizarre that she lives here, right?  But very cool).  She’s having friends over and they’ve hired a chef to come in and cook Pakistani food.  Which sounds pretty neat.  So I asked Sammy to babysit. It's my first night out sans the LO in a very long time.  I'm a little nervous.

Here’s the menu:

First Course


Roasted Beet Salad with Caramelized Onions, French Lentils, Fresh Ricotta Cheese, and a Mint-Lime Vinaigrette
Accompanied with the '08 Altanzo Verdejo, Spain



Second Course


(which doesn’t sound Pakistani to me, but I don’t know my Pakistani food, so ...)

Salmon Sashimi Tartare, Spicy Dragon Sauce, Citron Tobiko, and Crostini
Accompanied with the '08 Sean Minor Pinot Noir, Carneros, California

Main Course


Lemon-Grass Scented Roasted Cornish Game Hen with Pa-Nang Spiced Risotto, and Charred Baby Bok Choy

Accompanied with the '06 Feudi di Guagnano Negro Amaro, Italy



Dessert


Warm Mango Tart with Toasted Coconut Crust, Candied Ginger Ice Cream, and Basil Creme Anglaise

Yes, I realize I’m a vegetarian and that there’s meat and fish on this menu.  I’m just going to play it by ear …and thank goodness for my Buddhist approach to vegetarianism. 

Like I said …it’s better than stalking ladies at the library.

Wish me luck!  (What am I going to wear????)

Q: How did you meet your best friends?

Yogini up!

062310.  Sometimes the signs are there, you just have to take time to read them.  For example:  I was feeling “blue” on Monday.  And Tuesday started out a little rough.  And I realize now that I was doing a lot of reacting.  Waiting for things to go wrong, instead of doing things right.  (Like, I waited for the LO to get hungry before making her lunch … I waited for the dogs to growl at each other before taking away the bone …  I waited until the clouds rolled in before taking a walk … etc.)

I think it might have been getting caught in a torrential downpour that finally woke me up.  It was a short storm.  But powerful.  Thunder.  Lightening.  Buckets of rain and hail.  The whole shebang.  And while we were just at the edge of the driveway when it started, we managed to get pretty stinkin’ soaked on the short walk to the front door. 

I wish I had taken a picture, but I was a little more worried about getting the LO into a warm bath and into cozy dry pajamas than I was about finding my camera … next time I’ll leave it by the door.  BUT (lucky us) here’s a video that someone else took and posted on youtube so you can experience the weather of Bozeman.

The Cowboy says it rains here most days in the summer.

For about 15 minutes.

Late in the afternoon.

Which makes it just like the island of Kauai.

(Photo is from Kauai in 2006 …fun times, I tell you)

And that’s awesome.

So anyway.

After the storm.

And after the bath.

And after the cozy pajamas.

I realized something.

I felt better.

A lot better.

And then I realized something else.

It was just like Jodi said in her comment on the post from Monday night.

Take a cold shower.  Put on some clean clothes.

And do a little breath of fire.

Except this time I didn’t have to take the shower myself … it was handed to me … and yes, it was cold!  And yes, the pajamas were clean and soft and warm.  And as for the breath of fire …not sure I was doing breath of fire, but I was sure breathing pretty substantially.

Thank you for the reminder, Jodi.  And thank you, Universe, for, you know, just being you.

some days are better than others ...

062110pm.  Summer Solstice!

The longest day of the year.

Literally.

And, as far as I am concerned, figuratively.

It was the first day I woke up and felt a little lonely in this beautiful state of the Big Sky. 

(I took this picture this afternoon … while driving on a back road en route to a small town called Amsterdam a few miles southwest of Bozeman.  I had never been to Amsterdam.  And now I have!  A very sweet little hamlet, but my favorite part was the ride there.)

I could feel the absence of the Cowboy.  I missed the SuperMom.  I missed my friends.  And generally speaking, just felt a little bit blue.

Because I’ve learned that I should reach out to people when I’m feeling that way, I called one of my writer friends who lives in LA.  It almost always helps to hear a friend’s voice, to laugh, to hear about someone else’s day.

And I’ll say up front that SC has what many (including me) consider an enviable life.  She’s cute.  And smart.  She’s writing a movie for a big time producer at Sony.  And she’s one of those people who is on the list for every big premiere.  She goes to every good concert.  She goes to fun parties.  And she always knows what purse to buy for each season.  Seriously.  She has a gift.

Anyway … SC has this rug at her front door.

 

Such a great message.

I had forgotten about the rug (which is a pretty new addition to her abode, so forgetting about it is a totally reasonable response since I moved away before it entered the picture and I’d only heard about it).

But it’s exactly the reminder I needed today.

And then she commiserated with me that she’s been bummed, too.  Frustrated with her rewrite, feeling fat, and generally, just feeling blech.

But here’s the capper: 

Her adorable pup Sadie (pictured above … on the rug) has had a tender stomach for a few days.  And by tender, I mean she’s had diarrhea.  Often.  Outside.  In the laundry room.  In the kitchen.  And yes … on this rug …

So I guess I’m not the only one who had a crappy morning.

Q: What do you do when you’re feeling blue?

Gettin' my Cowgirl on ...

062110.  You may have noticed that the title of my blog is “The Yogini Cowgirl.”  And I write a lot about the yogini part of the title – about meditations, about my practice, about classes I’m taking and teaching.  I’ve even offered up a few kriyas and meditations for your enjoyment (and maybe even your experiment?).

The Yogini is alive and well in Big Sky Country.  That’s for sure.

The Cowgirl, however, is a little anemic.

Not that I don’t want to embrace it.

I moved here.

 

I wear my cowgirl boots.

 

I’ve worn plaid (I don’t think that’s a prerequisite, but I like it … is that wrong?)

I opted not to take a picture of this ... but that's because I know all of you know what plaid looks like ... and my plaid shirt is in the laundry ... and you know ... it's plaid.

And I’ve been out to the horses… a lot …almost every day. Primarily to let the dogs run. But I also spend time petting the horses.  I’ve watched the farrier shoe them. I’ve watched the Cowboy feed and water them.  I even spied the Cowboy shovel manure and clean out a trailer (I think it’s normal that I’d like not to do that job and I’m glad there’s a cowboy around!).

But I haven’t yet “gotten my Cowgirl on.”

I haven’t saddled up since we got here.

In fact, I’ve only ridden in Montana ONCE … and that was just on a visit last September … before the big move.

(NOTE: I thought I had a picture of this ... I thought I at least had a picture of me with a horse ... I have no picture ... maybe I should go take a picture of that plaid shirt ...)

The thing is, the Cowboy wants me to take lessons first.  Which I guess is an indication of how well I did the one time he let me ride??  I don’t think he wants me OR (more likely) the horses to get hurt (I would take bets on who he’s more worried about).

So … now I begin the journey of discovering my inner cowgirl. 

We’ve talked to Laurie … a horse trainer … who will train me in the art of horsery (that’s not a word … but you know what I mean).

And I’ll document the whole dang thing for my own posterity, and perhaps your amusement?

Q: What inner life are you exploring these days?

an ode to fathers on Father's Day

062010. I heard an interesting piece on NPR yesterday from a stay-at-home-dad who used to be a hotshot reporter.  He talked a lot about how it took having a daughter to understand that all the accolades, all the fancy phone calls, really important emails, late nights out with the boys and celebrities, all the blah blah was less important than the little girl he and his wife brought into the world.

The whole story made me a little sad for him.

Not that he hadn’t learned an important lesson.

Because he’s right.  All the fancy phone calls, all the emails that have to be answered 5 minutes before they arrive, the late nights out … all that … is way less important than raising that little girl.

What made me sad was that he sounded bitter about not getting those fancy phone calls, the emails and the invites.  It sounded like lip-service …like a story he had written to convince himself that being a stay-at-home-dad isn’t crushing his ego and self-esteem.

And then it made me appreciate a few of the men in my life a lot more.

The Cowboy, who could have decided not to ask the Yogini and the LO to move to Montana and find their inner cowgirls.

(This was the LO's first time with the horses.  In those safe strong hands, I can't imagine she didn't love every minute.)

The SuperStepDad, who married my mother when I was 11 years old and took me and my sister in as his own.  He treats the LO with so much love I’m getting tears in my eyes as I write this.

(This was taken in May 2009 ...they wore matching clothes more than once ... isn't that awesome?)

The Bro-In-Law-In-Alaska who single-dad’s it while my SuperSis is putting her life on the line in Iraq for the safety of all of us and our great country.

The SD-Bro-In-Law who works harder than any man I know, and still has time to make it to everyone of his son’s T-Ball games.

I wish I knew who said this … because it’s what I believe of each of these men … and so many others I haven’t mentioned:  “A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty.” ~Author Unknown


Happy Father’s Day.

The Self-respecting Cowboy

061910. When the LO was born, the Cowboy went out and did what any self-respecting cowboy would do:  He bought his little girl a pony.

(I’m not kidding …that crazy love of mine wanted his girl to have a pony … and it was nearly the first thing he did after the LO was born ...after giving her her first bath, swaddling her for the first time, and then driving us home from the hospital.)

Actually, if I'm really honest here ... she's not a pony.  She’s a horse.

A 4-year old Blue Roan mare, to be more precise.

She was too little to bring home last April.  She needed constant care that the Cowboy couldn’t deliver at the time (what with being in Los Angeles with us).

So on his latest trip to Washington, he picked her up the ranch where she was staying, took her to the rodeo and she did a great job (meaning she wasn’t freaked out by all the other horses and people and animals and noise and craziness.  In short, she didn't buck him off and she looked pretty in her saddle).

(Ty and Blue at the rodeo)

So he brought her home.

  

(I call this picture “Portrait of Blue”)

Isn’t she’s beautiful?

She really likes the Cowboy.  (Who can blame her?)  She only comes to the gate when he's nearby.  And she only lets the LO pet her when he's holding her.  

And I think the Cowboy is smitten.  Really smitten.  Equine Love.  (Not EQUIS! ... Equine. Mind out of the gutter, people!)  Like … I think he likes her enough that he might give the LO one of the other horses so he can keep Blue all to himself.  Only time will tell.

Q: Have you been smitten lately?

Reunited. And it feels so good ... um ... maybe not.

061710.  Have I written at all about the complex relationship between the Cowboy’s dog Hitcher and the Henry??

I don’t think I have.

Because it is complex.

It’s not just that Hitcher is an Alpha Male’s Alpha Male (beta only to the Cowboy).  I should tell you that Hitcher is a gorgeous, slightly aloof and opinionated Catahoula Leopard Dog who has very clear views on what it is to be a dog.  

According to Hitcher, the Henry doesn't qualify.

And it’s not just that the Henry is … well … not so much a Beta as …

How do I put this delicately?

Hmmmm ….

I don’t think there’s a way …

(Please forgive the graphic nature of this description)

The Henry

Is

A Pansy.

With a capital P.

As you may recall, Hitcher was with the Cowboy in Utah.  Then he made his way with the horses to a ranch in Washington State, where the Cowboy retrieved him and the horses this past weekend.

So the Henry had four blissful sans-Hitcher months of decadence and singular love.  You might imagine then that Hitcher’s homecoming was met with a little trepidation on The Henry’s part. 

 
But it was inevitable.

I could almost hear the theme from Rocky as the two foes, in slo-mo, ran toward each other across the field (can you hear it?  or is it just in my head?) ... 

And low and behold ... it was remarkably uneventful.

 
Hitcher almost looked happy to see the Henry.

And the Henry only cowered for a few seconds before they took off TOGETHER toward the creek near the paddock.

But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t traumatic to the chocolate ball of neurosis …

Should I be concerned that the Henry’s now sleeping UNDER our bed?

Q: Who’s the alpha in your house?

Get lost...

061310.  Getting lost used to mean driving home from Silver Lake or Echo Park and taking a wrong turn, finding myself in a heavily tagged, potentially gang-infested, prostitute laden area.  I don’t have pictures.  But believe me … It was a little daunting.  Especially at dusk. 

Getting lost today (actually yesterday) is different.

Way more picturesque.

Gorgeous, actually. (The pictures don't do it justice.  In part because you can't hear the sounds of the rushing river.  So nice.)

 But surprisingly no less daunting (cue the dueling banjos from Deliverance)

Thank goodness the Cowboy gave me a GPS…

Q: Have you been lost lately (figuratively and/or literally)?

What happened to summer?

061110. I didn’t mean for my alarm to go off at 6:45 am today. 

We’ve been up and packing and unpacking and packing and unpacking and moving and unpacking a lot these past few days.  And the Cowboy had to head out of town again … this time to pick up two horses and his dog Hitcher from a friend’s ranch in Washington.

So the LO and I were going to sleep in. 

(Thank goodness one of us can sleep through the piercing sounds of a cell phone alarm.)

But Henry and I are lighter sleepers, I guess.

(I believe he is thinking: “Seriously??? You’re really making me pose for a picture?? You’re stupid phone alarm wakes me up and I have to go outside really bad and you’re making me sit here??”)

What a treat to wake up before the LO and have a little time to make tea and enjoy the quiet house.

But the brown dog waits for no woman, so to the back door we went.

(The gardeners were supposed to come today to mow the unruly lawn that hasn’t been mowed since January, when the Cowboy was here last. I guess it will have to wait until tomorrow.)

Then I went to the front door to check that I wasn’t seeing things.

I guess nobody told Montana it’s June!  

I think I'm going to go do some yoga ...

Q: What are you going to do today?

A lot of unpacking to do ... but not today

060610.  Three days on the road.

Eighteen hours of driving.

  
Nearly 1,150 miles.  Through California.  Nevada.  Arizona.  Utah.  Idaho.  And finally ...

 

And this morning, we woke up in beautiful Bozeman.

I don’t even mind that I missed my meditations 3 days in a row and have to begin again. Or that the movers are set to arrive when the Cowboy's out of town later this week (he's got to pick up the horses and dog out of state to bring them home). Or that we have more than a little unpacking to do (those 60+ boxes are going to somehow have to squeeze into the Cowboy's already fully-furnished house). 

But all that can wait.

Because today, we just want to rest and enjoy our new home.

Today, we are going to relax and smell the fresh-cut grass.

Today, we are just going to "be." 

  
I think we’re going to like it here …

Q: What are your plans for the day?

My life … in 60 boxes* (words) or less …

052810.  Movers today.  Just called.  Thirty minutes. 

After days of packing and sorting and cleaning (and packing and sorting and cleaning), I’m ready. 

Thirty minutes left to reflect.

Sad to leave the land of the SupermMom & SuperStepDad …and the SuperFriends.

Anxious to be starting a new life in a new town in the cold Big Sky country.

Blissful to be reunited with the Cowboy.

  

*NOTE: 64 words … oh well … I couldn’t fit my stuff in 60 boxes, either.

Q: What’s on your mind today?

the day after ...

051010.  (I wrote this last night … but am finishing it this morning because a LO with a stuffy nose and a hard time sleeping needed me to lie down next to her to help her fall asleep, and then I fell asleep, too!)

As my second Mother’s Day as a mother comes to a close, I am reflecting on not only what it means to be someone’s mom, but what it means to be a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a friend and a partner.  As women, we have many different roles.  (Men do, too, but I can’t speak from experience on it, so I’m not going to try.)

According to the yoga tradition, women are the “Adi Shakti” … the “primal creative energy” in the world. 

 

(Which is not a hard concept to buy into when one thinks about the idea that the Divine Mother had the power and strength to bring to life God in her womb!)

(This pic is WAY bigger than I thought it was going to be, but I can't figure out how to resize it)

What occurs to me (and I recognize that this isn’t an original thought): Women have the power to change the world … through the example they set for their children, through the kindness they show to their neighbors, and through the love they give to the world.  We have the grace.  We have the strength.  We have the power.  And as President Lincoln said so succinctly, “With great power, comes great responsibility.”  (I think he said it … at least that’s what I learned in the movie Spiderman, directed by Sam Raimi.)

And I am lucky to have some great examples of women who give generously of their time and energy – with no expectation in return.  The SuperMom (of course) is my first and foremost example, who does a ton for me and the LO, but we’re just the tip of the iceberg. 

(SuperMom - please don't be mad at the pic ... just think ... it could have been one from the pool ... plus, I think this is beautiful) 
 

My Master Sergeant Sis in Iraq.  My SuperStepSis who volunteers at her son’s school every week, and has kicked some serious butt (including her own!) walking that 60-mile walk for the cure.  I have gal-pals who rescue dogs, cook for the homeless, raise money for leukemia, and breast cancer, and for orphanages around the world.  The list goes on and on.

So since this is my Commitment Year, I’m going to make one more commitment … for the sake of setting an example for the LO … for the sake of myself … and for the sake of my new Montana community.  I’m going to do more Seva (pronounced SAY-VAH – it’s the Gurmukhi word for “volunteer work” or “community service.”  And yes, I could have just said I’m going to volunteer more … but then you wouldn’t get to learn a new word today!)

Maybe I’ll find a school where I can volunteer my time teaching yoga.  Maybe it will be at the local food bank.  Or the neighborhood Goodwill.  We’ll see.  I’ll keep you posted.

Q: What seva do you do?